Feeling heavy...

Yesterday night was okay.. But it's always drama first then make up... I'm tired of writing trust me, and I don't wanna yell but I feel like sometimes he just doesn't understand... Like the whole point of calling me when he gets off.. Duh it would make life so much easier if you'd just call so if I do come check up on you and your cr isn't there you wouldn't be the fool.! I swear....!!!! Ugh... For some reason today my heart feels heavy.... And I'm sad... Not because he doesn't love me anymore I'm sad and mad at myself for caring so much... Ugh need excise today! I skip one day and I feel hella fat again! I wanna lose 20 pounds by feb! Let's do it!!!