TRUST!!!

TRUST IS ALWAYS AN ISSUES! AND IDK PEOPLE SAY YOU NEED TRUST TO BUILD YOUR RELATIONSHIP. TRUE BUT THEN AGAIN HOW CAN YOU TRUST SOME ONE WHEN THEY'VE LIED TO YOU NUMEROUS OF TIMES! THEY CANT BE TRUSTED.. ITS JUST ME I KNOW I AM A BITCH BUT HEY IT NOT LIKE HE EARNED IT! HE FUCKING LIED AND YOU DID IT AGAIN AND AGAIN SO AM I THE BAD PERSON IF IM SETTING A LIMIT? NO!! IM A FUCKING WIFE! HE DOESNT SET LIMITS TO ME BECAUSE I DONT LIE I DONT COME HOME LATE. AND WHEN I SAY I COME HOME I COME AN HOUR BEFORE THE TIME I SET MYSELF BECAUSE I KNOW MY LIMITS! I DONT NEED HIM CALLING AND BLOWING UP MY FUCKNG PHONE BECAUSE I WOULD ALREADY BE HOME WHEN HE NEEDS ME. HE SAYS IM ALWAYS THIS AND THAT AND IM NEVER LETTING HIM DO WHAT HE WANTS! WHY IS THAT? EVERY TIME I DO HE NEVER COMES HOME ON TIME HE NEVER CALLS TO SAY THAT HES STAYING FOR A WHILE LONGER HES ALWAYS MAKING UP EXCUSES. HE DOESNT APPRECIATE ME. I APPRECIATE HIM FOR EVERYTHING AND I TELL HIM WHY I DONT TRUST HIM. BUT STILL HE DOESNT CARE WHAT I HAVE TO SAY. IDK ANYMORE. ........

Just thinking

Idk lately I've been really bitchy! Bitch status! Ugh! And I've been reallY sad lately:/

Sami quilted handbag

I want it!!! Lol :) buy it for me:)))

Ice cream

Lol its super cold and all rylan wants is ice cream. But anyways Christmas is almost here! Thinking of buying baby a new bicycle or tricycle. He wants one. Ummm. He's been naughty though:/ lol hahaha all babys are!

Rainy days

There the best days to relax yet there the boringest days ever! Hahha I work tomorrow and black Friday and this sat:) that's good I'm finally on a roll:)

fairness

Is it fair for parents to chose the one you love? i mean im married im just talking about in gemeral. its sad i mean why cant they all just agree. all parents want their child to have the best life. and i think if they see there childerns happy they should just leave it at that . and if they arent happy help and comfort them in all the ways that they can. some parents do. some sit there and critize all day long. idk sometimes ii feel like my parents are those types. but i know they love each and everyone of us though sometimes its hard to tell when you both dont agree. but i tink all parents should hear there childern let them learn from there own mistakes. life is life you learn and you live.sometimes its okay to speak out loud and tell your childerns when there totally going over board. but then at the same time you can only say so much.

&&tonights

One of those nights u wished u were away! Relaxing your self away! No one to bug the shit outta you! Just peace and quite! Idk today is not my day! I don't know why I'm so angry!

My gosh!!!

I need to step up my A game!!! Works nit giving me enough hours!!!!! Ugh! Need money and need hours! I've been training for a while now! But yeah! Gosh! Idk maybe I'm fucking slow or something?!?!?! But I hope they bear with me!

A little update on life

Schools good and I'm proud of myself! Works slow but I'm doing good. My husband and baby is also doing good too well I think they are. The cold seasons coming in so fast:/ I live the cold but inseams to be getting sick every other day now:( sucks. No school on thrusday!yay! Vertan day! Time to relax! And DAO and thai said that the 11 of dec fine for a baby shower! Let's hope it's not raining! I requested it off already:) so good for me;) haha I'm on a roll:) hoping to get to visit my family soon;)need me fly high!

And so today was a good day:)

I <3 the flea market:) I love looking around and finding things:) or just looking;) took the two little girls out to eat! Had a good day with them;)

Dang these past days

I've been soo annoyed of everyone and everything! Works so fucking slow! No hours! I know I can't complain but I am!!!!!!! And people are just fake and plain fucking annoying!!!!!!!! Anyways here's my vent for the day oh yeah! And our cars check engine light came on! Ugh! So mad! But we already got a new thermostat! Wanting to go to the flea market tomorrow but ugh idk now!

why are people so

ANNOYING now and days? its like umm was i speaking to you no! so stfu! but yeah anyways! i don't work this whole week til Sunday! then i don't work that whole week til Friday! ugh. im fucking irritated! but yeah anyways schools okay so far. and my English teacher assigned us a review but we gotta make it ourselves? wtf? stupid!and im LOST! so yeah ill figure some shit out!

Lmao!

I swear people are really just plain dumb:) facebook is where there is no secrets foo! Lol

How do people love eachother if

They've never seen eachother before? Its kinda hard. I've done it before no lie just date some one out of the ordinary! I mean just thinking about whoooo he's HOT! and now I think of it. Ummmm. Kinda werid huh? Haha I think it's a phase were u want to have a boyfriend or u think you can't find anyone. And u start to feel lonely!. But then u think about it after everything happens and it's really not like what it seems. U only think your in love but really its just some one there until you actuallie meet one another and like eachother for there flaws not there unflaws!

October 24 2010

today was my first day working 6 hour shift. It was good:) I'm still training. I'm not quite ready yet. But I hope I get better:) Thank you god for giving me this oppuroitny:) and chance:) I'm super happy. Finally making it to the top!

Update:)

Family, work and life is GOOD! But my baby sis just got jump! And them bitches Finna see what's up! Or should I say what's down!

Work

Works been good:) I'm so thankfull to god and also my manger verioncia for giving me this chance. God please guided me through this. I know you will:) I'm so happy that I finally found this job;) and schools been okay also. I think I'm doing good in all:)

Sometimes

I feel down and sad but just when I do. It shows they do care:) Now happy:)

I'm not a slave

I think sometimes people take advantage of me. Just because I do it most of the time. I don't do shit around the house because I like. Hella no! I do it because I love everyone and I freaking wanna keep the house clean? Why doesn't any one esle like helping? I don't fucking know?!?!?! I'm ready to move out and live on my own and struggle or whatever it is!?!!? I miss my mommy:( I always felt like a princess when I was with her. I'm sorry mom that vie never helped you before. I never asked you or even bother to try. I wish I could be there every second of my day to help you:) I hope my sisters are helping u momma. I miss u dearly I'm not sure if you kno how much. But alot! Sometimes I get sad here but I don't say anything. My husbands doesn't help me much. He's a good husband but he's lazy. I know no ones perfect. But I would like some help here and there. I'm tired and I'm sure everyone sees it they just want to be selfish!

its been a while

so yay i got a job! and im so super excited.! i start this Sunday! but argh im so fat now. goodness im thinking about getting new clothes because i need it for work but with all this weight gaining hell no! goodness i need to start excising again. i was okay for a while idk but yeah i need to be healthier. !!!!!!!some one help me please! for free:) haha

And today

Yay:) weekends almost here. I'm done with basicly all my school work:) just another day to relax:)

Hey:)

Dang it's been forever since I've blogged:) but anyways a little update on school:) I'm enjoying it so far and I think I have good grades so far. It's the 6 weeks already:) can't believe one semester is almost up:/ crazy huh. But yeah I'm feeling good this month:) I hope I stay happy:)

Hello:)

Wow its been so long since I've updated:) but yeah anyways vie been going to school lately finally back on track huh? And I'm really liking it. Which is so weird???? Haha but anyways been so super busy always running around. But anyways that's it basicly:) haha bye

Congrats

To dao&thai its a BOY!


Can't wait to meet him:) any names yet? So excited:)

Today's a better day

Today is alit better then any other day:) I'm actuallie smiling:)

Marriage

Why is it so hard for us to get along? Idk anymore. He really wants his freedom. And I'm the selfish one. Dads still weak and he's home now but I get to take care of him and my son. And he doesn't see that maybe my wife needs help? Idk anymore I'm ready to run and escape this I can't take it anymore. I don't understand why he doesn't understand that I don't need and ask for time away. But he needs all that. Things just don't wanna fall into places.

And I was thinking

Like always I wanna lose weight. But how???? WTF am I gonna do to Lise weight? Ehhhhh? Nothing really workS! I wanna be a new me! At least 140 again. So i can look at myself.

Another

Long day. And as we now my fil is still in the hospital. If you can please add him in your prayers:) that would be great.

I feel

Stressed out! I still feel hurt. Idk what to say or do anymore. Things are just falling outta place. The more I think the more I wanna runaway!



Once you get married it's like the piece of your you g life disappears in to thin air and you take other steps to become a new you. And once you have a child you take those advice everyone gives you and you use them. But I feel like he'll never learn or use them. And he won't let go of his past. And now that he's opened up I feel like it's a lil to late.

&&my

Fil is getting better. So that's a good sign. Me and Ricky are working things out too which is even better:) I'm just glad things are going good. Thanks to the lord:)

Kinda tired

Of being fat. Like it doesn't bother me but then it does. So many people see you for the outside only and never the inside why is that? Idk either.I would really like to drop back down to 140 or something I'd be really happy:) kneed to do this for myself. More door my son because I don't want him to grow up with out a mom. Goodness ive been trying maybe nit hard enough but it doesn't really work. I'm annoyed of myself! Maybe I do need to really start this. Once and for all.

Its a stressfull time

Gosh there just so freaking much going on. Me and Ricky been having trouble. And now my rather in law is in the hospital again. Idk what to think anymore. So gosh sad:( well I'll up date. Bye.

running on empty

its like the worst feeling. i just hate it! idk. im trying i still love him. its been almost 4 yrs i cant let go now. well grow old together.

And god loves me

Yes I know. He's so god to me. Thank you lord. I hope I get the job. I need it!

Today

I feel like a whole new person. Got a new do. I'm so stressed . I'm so sad . Idk what to do anymore. But today I change as a new me. And I'm never gonna let him drag me down no more. :) life and there lessons.

Ive been waiting

For almost one dang month. For my 120 pallet. I can't reLly complain because I won it. But still I won it right? Idk wtf happen to it on the way here but I'm kinda pissed off. Bye just thought I'd write it down.

My newest addiction

Would be NAIL POLISH. Idk but I've been wanting more and more! Can't get enough!lol buy me some? Hehe I'm trying to learn bow to do different designs. Lmao I'll re update with some of the designs I've tried lol.

my SD and LA trip

so i had so much fun with the girls while it lasted! kelley,rosie,&amy there the best! i love you girls. but yes kelley,amy&i went all the way to SD to visit rosie my love. OMG WHAT A FREAKING DRIVE! 6 DANG HOURS. when we got there everyone was like ZOMBIES. we went to two beaches one called ahoyah? im just spelling as if its prounce that way. lol and one called mission omggg im so in love with LA JOLLA beach its beautiful we took alota pictures of us on that beach and it was soo fun!!! i also got to try TWO new restaurants.like SOUP PLANTATION. L&L HAWAIIAN BBQ. YUMMM AND we went flea market shopping. lol i bought a whole bunnch of nail polish for like 1 dollar. lol. and we didnt get to go clubbing cause we didnt go early enough. but idk casue clubbings kinda eh dumb. LOL. and it was hella scary when we were packing and leaving to the car amy waved and saw this one guy with a mask hella scaryyyyy. idk why amy waved?? but omg i dont think id ever live in SD you freaking drive hella far to just get to one place! annoying. AND I SAW SEES BABY AVA OMG SHES HELLA CUTE. AND SHES SUCH A GOOD BABY. she never cries. LOL. but yes overall i had a blast IMY ROSIE!






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I'm just waiting

For Kelley and Amy to get here then off we go:) and I guess no more LA. But where heading straight to SD baby. Gonna visit my dear Rosie. Imh so much. And I miss Amy and Kelley to I hardly ever get to see them ever. But this trip is gonna be a tons of fun no matter what.hehe. And I'll add on more for this blog when I get on the road if I'm not driving.

yay how exciting

I know right I'm annoying for writing dumb blogs. And I've mention this a hundred of times lol but finally one more day and were off to LA. omg. Haha. Too damn happy. I finally get to relax with the girls without rylan or Ricky. Lol how about that eh? Haha gosh Amy says cocktails and beach? I say umm whoses over age? Funny:/ but I would love something to drink and relax my day away on the beach. Anyways I'll actually write another blog when I get back or even write it while I'm there. I'll take pictures to. :)

just a thought for today

how come people always take everything and everyone for granted? why do people lie and cheat? Im sure i am not the only one who have asked these question and never have them answer.

but ive realize that lifes so important that it can be taken in a blink of an eye. i think everyone should take a min of there day or at least once a week and tell there love ones how much they love and appreciate them. ive notice that alot of my love ones are losing there love ones. and sometimes we can do anything but let it happen because we dont have the power to give them the life of breathe anymore. i would like to say R.I.P TO ALL THE LOST ONES AND LOVED ONES THAT HAVE GONE AND LEFT THIS WORLD. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU.

A hot boring day

And today was as hot as all them other days! Ughh. I just made some pho a while ago and it's 1:21 in the morning crazy right? Lmao just wanted some that's why. Hubby came home early today which I'm so surprise about. But yeah I'm just blogging cause I'm bored so bye.

sister weekend

SISTERS


i love them dearly, even though we fight alot we all know in our hearts that well always be sisters.


so this weekend seemed to fly by so fast and my sisters already left. how sad. but overall we had good laughs and took new studio pictures.:) as you can tell i post them up as well

My leg hurt

Ouch. So today my mil and fil went to go pick up some wood and brought it back home. The woods were hella big so they asked Ricky to help them but, Ricky was on the phone talking to them AT&T peoe about his iPhone and so like the great and good Nyab I am I went to see what they needed cause ricky couldn't. And so my mil was rolling wood off the truck while I as rolling the ones on the ground to another spot. And my mil had push one off the truck and she didn't think it was gonna roll that far cause the others o es didn't . Lmao omg it rolled on to my back leg. And sractched the shit outta me.


& my sisters are here today. Bye gonna sleep:)

and finally

the weekend is almost over. my sisters are coming tomorrow and im excited to see them they never ever come visit me:/ how sad but then its because they dont know how to drive yet. && IM SO EXCITED FOR LA. i cant wait to spend time by myself no one to bother me and im going with my two girls and where gonna meet up with my other girl in SD bby here we come ill up date you on how fun my trip goes.

and omg today i came home and gave rylan a bath and found this big ole freaking mark on his arm. I thought it was a big ass bruise but it turned out to be a burn mark. its hella bad. and im angry. but yes hopefullie it gets better. he didnt even cry about it. my weird child. ILOVEHIM

&&the good news

It's a girl. Congrats to Ying lmao not me. I'm not prego. And not gonna be anytime soon. But yay a lovely addition to the wonderful family:) so excited. This well be our first niece:) that means more shopping for girl clothing hehe. I always see so many things for girls not enough for boys though maybe I should tell them stores to tell the companies so they can tell whoever making them baby clothes to make more clothes for baby boys. Anyways lol I'm so random. Bye

And a long boring day at

The Laundrymat again. But yeah I volunteer so yes can't complain at all. I'm only watching half day so thats a relief. But yes today is thrusday so that means tomorrow my sisters well be coming to merced for the weekend. So I won't be bored after all. And then next weekend ima be in LA for a day then off to SD bby to visit my dear Rosie :) gosh I miss the girls just us four again.

Iphone4

&so my upgrade was yesterday. AND I GOT THE IPHONE4. omg you dont know what i went through just to get this phone i called four stores just to check and see if they had any in stock. none of them had it and then i called another at&t store the last one i called and the man put me on hold and he came back on and told me i have to left. i said can you hold the 16gb for me please ill be there in a bit. got there and got my dang phone. LOL yes im them people who gotta have what they want LOL.



&& my sisters are coming this weekend l update a new blog about this weekend byeee

a little about myself

as you guys know my lovely parents named me Gao Lia Vang i was born in Oroville, Ca and rasied there. i have 4 brothers and 3 sisters including me is 4 girls and 4 boys.




i was, i guess i can say the outcast of the family because i was so bad and i never listen to anything my father or mother had to say. but ive grown up in to a woman and understand why they did what they did and i had to learn the hard way. In my heart i still have this very sad feeling that ive never told them before and that feeling is the feeling where your so ashamed because you know you were wrong and want to say sorry but you cant because it seems as if your too afraid to say such a strong word even though its only 5 letters and youve said it so many times before, to people youve accidentally bumped into. so why is it so hard for me to say im sorry? i think its because im afraid of what my parents would say and if they would ever forgive me. im sure my dad has lost his hope in me already because every time i see him now i see the sadness in his face and the embarrassment. and im sure if i was him i would be too. what can i say about my LOVELY mother shes always been there even though im sure she feels as if ive always drag her down. but im happy shes never giving up on me. and i cant say it to them but i hope they know i love them so much. and i wanna thank god for such lovely parents. And i hope one day god gives me courage and i can tell them how sorry i am and for what ive put them through.