Kinda tired

Of being fat. Like it doesn't bother me but then it does. So many people see you for the outside only and never the inside why is that? Idk either.I would really like to drop back down to 140 or something I'd be really happy:) kneed to do this for myself. More door my son because I don't want him to grow up with out a mom. Goodness ive been trying maybe nit hard enough but it doesn't really work. I'm annoyed of myself! Maybe I do need to really start this. Once and for all.